"Now, take off your dress". Joining a gym in Buenos Aires

So, I had a plan. Arrive in Buenos Aires, sample the local delights just long enough to establish an informed opinion (1 -2 weeks), then eat like a Portena (which is to say, stop eating) and dance every night to shed the 12 or so kilos I had stacked on after a year of living at home with my parents (my mum seriously makes the WORLD'S best brownies). 

But I didn't really stick to the plan.

I kept eating (d'uh. who was I kidding anyway) and the late night, carb-heavy eating, unfailingly punctuated with a giant helado full-stop, meant the 12 kilos were feeling quite at home and had even decided to invite over some new friends. 

So I decided to join a gym. I'd been holding off, not knowing how long I was going to stay, but at 250 pesos for the month.. I figured future photos of me shaking my groove-thang in a bikini on a beach in Rio would thank me for shelling out the $10/week.

So I signed up, paid my money for the month upfront, then was told I would need to see a doctor to complete a health check before commencing. Refer to the above title. Do you see where things are going?

The seemingly very professional doctor invited me in to his consultation room. He provided me with a questionnaire to complete with all the usual questions: smoke - no, allergies - no, alcohol - yes, please etc etc. He asked me my height and weight, took my blood pressure, all extremely standard. "Ok", he says. "Take off your clothes and lie on the bed".

I look at him, checking for a sign he is joking. No such sign. As serious as cancer. I will say, at this point, that I think his limited English and my limited Spanish meant the absence of customary niceties that would enable him to ask me to remove my clothing in a way that didn't seem completely pervy.

"Porque?"
"We attach these". He holds up a bunch of suction circles attached to a giant battery thing. My concerns are not abated. I think about throwing out another porque but there doesn't seem to be much point. I doubt I would understand the explanation.

Trying to maintain modesty, for now, I unbutton my shirt dress down as far as my navel and allow the doctor to affix the discs. "Be calm", he says. Sure thing.

The discs feel warm but are otherwise painless. A machine zig zags over green-checkered paper. "Normal" he declares. Hmm.. more or less.

I stand up. Ok. Survived that. It was strange but I'd witnessed other off-beat examples of the Argentinian health beliefs/superstitions by now so I'm feeling all, go-with-the-flow about it all. Like, they love calisthenics.. getting together in groups in the park and pointing and flexing their toes.  Ok.. not the best example but it's what I can think of at the moment.


"Now, take off your dress". Really?! Again, the ever-trusty, "Porque?".
"I need to see your skin".
Nope, you're going to have to do better than that. "Porque?!"
"You need to bend over and I need to look at your skin." It's said so matter-of-fact and without a hint of perv. Hmm.. one more.. "Porque?!!"
"Your back". 
I shrug my shoulders and relent. Removing my dress to waist-length and bending over, presumably so he can see the curvature of my spine. 
"Normal". Um.. not exactly.


So that was that. He handed me the green-checkered paper with the zig-zagging line (Mel, or other doctor friends, perhaps you can interpret for me?) and confirmed with the gym staff I had passed my physical examination. 

I still don't know if this is the usual practice or not. Any Bs As locals had similar experiences? Lucia??